“THE FATHER WOUND”: NARRATIVES OF PATERNAL ABSENCE, SELF-WORTH AND EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT AMONG YOUNG MEN IN JOS, PLATEAU STATE

Abstract

This qualitative narrative article explores how young men in Jos, Plateau State, make meaning of paternal absence and how this absence shapes self-worth, emotional development and masculine identity. Guided by Attachment Theory, Trauma Theory and masculinity perspectives, the article asks how young men narrate father-related absence as a lived emotional and developmental experience rather than only a family-structure problem. It draws on composite narrative reconstructions from eight young men aged 20 to 35 whose childhoods were marked by death, separation, abandonment, harsh fathering, inconsistent care or emotional distance within the home. Narrative conversations were examined through reflexive thematic analysis, with attention to shame, longing, anger, guardedness, substitute father figures and attempts to break intergenerational patterns. Findings suggest that paternal absence did not affect participants in a uniform way. For some, it produced a lasting search for validation; for others, it appeared through
excessive self-reliance, distrust of older men, difficulty with intimacy or anger that concealed sadness. Mothers, uncles, pastors, teachers, friends and personal reflection sometimes served as protective influences, although participants rarely described these supports as complete replacements for paternal recognition. The article argues that young men’s emotional struggles should not be dismissed as weakness or irresponsibility because many are negotiating childhood injuries within cultural expectations that demand toughness, provision and silence. It recommends trauma-informed, male-sensitive counselling, family psychoeducation and  community spaces where father-related pain can be discussed without ridicule or moral judgement.